I have zero complaints with our sport—we all run at our own levels, we join together as a group to share in our individual pursuits, and we have a simple and elegant form of competition: Go from point A to point B as quickly as you can.
But what if—what if!—we could adopt some rules and customs from other sports? Hmm, the possibilities:
Tennis
What It Has: Ball boys and girls
For Running: Kids lined up along race courses ready to run out and tie an unlaced shoe.
What It Has: Ball boys and girls
For Running: Kids lined up along race courses ready to run out and tie an unlaced shoe.
Baseball
What It Has: Relief pitchers
For Running: “Hey, Bob, legs are gassed at mile 24. Finish this one up for me, wouldya?”
What It Has: Relief pitchers
For Running: “Hey, Bob, legs are gassed at mile 24. Finish this one up for me, wouldya?”
Hockey
What It Has: A penalty box
For Running: 2 minutes for unsportsmanlike spitting, snotting, or hacking into the lane of another runner.
What It Has: A penalty box
For Running: 2 minutes for unsportsmanlike spitting, snotting, or hacking into the lane of another runner.
Diving
What It Has: Degree of difficulty
For Running: Each race assigned a DOD based on course elevation and weather conditions. Times adjusted up or down accordingly.
What It Has: Degree of difficulty
For Running: Each race assigned a DOD based on course elevation and weather conditions. Times adjusted up or down accordingly.
Soccer
What It Has: Charismatic celebrations after every goooooooooooooooal
For Running: All finishers slide across the finish line on both knees, raise their arms, and scream as if a blister just exploded.
What It Has: Charismatic celebrations after every goooooooooooooooal
For Running: All finishers slide across the finish line on both knees, raise their arms, and scream as if a blister just exploded.
Most Team Sports
What They Have: Overtime
For Running: Two racers who cross at the same time must do an extra half-mile to determine the winner.
What They Have: Overtime
For Running: Two racers who cross at the same time must do an extra half-mile to determine the winner.
NASCAR
What It Has: Pit crews
For Running: Pull off course and a dozen people are waiting to rub your legs, pump you full of nutrients, change your shirt and shoes, check your engine, and send you back out with a full tank. All within 14 seconds.
What It Has: Pit crews
For Running: Pull off course and a dozen people are waiting to rub your legs, pump you full of nutrients, change your shirt and shoes, check your engine, and send you back out with a full tank. All within 14 seconds.
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