11 Celebs We Seriously Wish Would Start Running (or Come Out as Runners)

The creative force behind Netflix’s Master of None is short (5-foot-6), skinny, and seemingly full of limitless energy—in other words, the actor we most want to see qualifying for Boston. Plus, the self-declared “pasta lover” can probably teach us a thing or two about carb-loading.

Tantalizingly, in November 2010 he tweeted he was running the New York marathon, but his name doesn’t appear in the race results. Come on, Aziz—time to make up for that DNF!

His race: Any marathon sponsored by Netflix.

Prerace meal: Spaghetti carbonara. (It’s also his postrace meal. Also possibly his mid-race snack.)

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Look, we’ll admit, we want to see the lithe superstar live up to her name: How swift is Swift? But we also want to see if a good, long run can make the famously sweat-free singer actually perspire.

One piece of advice for Tay-Tay: Do your training in the great outdoors—treadmills do not seem to be your thing.

Her race: Charity 10K.

Her sneaker: Adidas Yeezy Boost 350.

Prerace meal: Beef—with Katy Perry, Nicki Minaj, Miley Cyrus, Rihanna, Lady Gaga...

Most people watched the 2011 movie Shame for full-frontal shots of Fassbender as New York City sex addict Brandon. Not us. (Seriously!) We watched for Brandon’s nighttime run across the city, during which he demonstrated some pretty good form—love that effortless kick, Fassbender!

But now we want to see him do it for real, preferably on one of those hot summer days that virtually requires shirtlessness.

His sneaker: Any gray New Balance.

His race: Half marathon—with no training.

His postrace meal: You [blush].

Whenever we’re off on an uninspiring slog-jog, we think about the stars of Broad City: What would Abbi and Ilana do to make this better? They’d wear cooler outfits, for one. They’d stop to talk to every weirdo passerby.

And oh yeah, they’d smoke a ton of weed—which allegedly helps you concentrate on long-distance runs. We want them in running so running can be fun again!

Their race: Leadville 100.

Postrace snack: Serious raid on the free bananas and bagels.

Their footwear: Wheelies for Abbi, flip-flops for Ilana.

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We know that “Running through the six with my woes” is not about a thoughtful jog across Toronto at twilight, but we like to imagine Aubrey Drake Graham as perhaps the ultimate running buddy—a smooth, inspiring presence who’ll make you feel like you’re clocking 5-minute kilometers. (He’s Canadian, after all.)

And you know when your cell phone rings late at night, it’s to invite you to some serious... training. (He’s a hip-hop star, after all.)

His race: Mount Marathon Race, solely so he can reach the top, chant “Started from the bottom, now we here,” then turn around and run back down.

Running kit: Spotless.

Celebratory postrace meal: Lobster (and Céline).

As running has grown over the last four decades into a broadly popular sport, it’s become, well, normal. Where are the freaks, the misfits, the dirtbags?

When Nearly Naked Caveman is the weirdest we can do, we need Aubrey Plaza, whose unhinged performance in Legion (not to mention her 2013 stage-crashing at the MTV Awards) makes us think she’d be a delightfully erratic, and probably speedy, addition to our culture.

Note to other runners: Probably stay out of her way.

Her race: 800 meters—anything longer and she’d get distracted.

Shoes: Shoplifted, but, like, in a funny, non-criminal way.

Recovery drink: Gatorade. Yup, just regular old Gatorade. Seriously, it’s just Gatorade!

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Sure, she can run three hit shows simultaneously (Grey’s Anatomy, How to Get Away With Murder, and Scandal), but can she actually, you know, run?

Well, now that Scandal has been canceled, she’s got free time that needs filling, and nothing’s better for getting your creative juices re-flowing—i.e., mentally developing Hit Number 4—than regular long runs through the picturesque hills of Shondaland. (That’s somewhere outside Los Angeles, right?)

Footwear: Personally customized Nikes.

Her race: None. She’s got nothing to prove.

Recovery drink: Champagne—she’s earned it.

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Back in 2005, when Arianna thought blogging might be, like, a Thing™, she started the Huffington Post—then she built it into a juggernaut.

Then she thought wellbeing might also be a thing, and she founded a whole new wellness-focused company, Thrive Global.

Point is, as soon as she gets into running, whether she’s a Couch to 5Ker or a marathon maniac, we just know she’ll devote her considerable energy and resources into making sure the rest of the world knows just how awesome and important it is. Plus, she’s got the perfect runner’s nickname: Huff.

Race: She’s Greek by birth, so the marathon, obvs. Also, she will probably start her own series.

Footwear: Again, why hype someone else’s shoes when she could design (and sell) her own? In fact, “Arianna” already sounds like a sneaker line.

Training snacks: She’s already got them.

It’s well-known that the U.S. senator from Vermont was a runner in his youth, but now, 60 years since he logged a 4:37 mile as captain of his Brooklyn high school track team, it’s time for Bernie to pick the sport back up again. He’s the guy we want to see hitting three predawn miles a day, down wooded Vermont roads or around the D.C. Mall, rain or shine or blizzard.

And since millennials love the 75-year-old, maybe that’d inspire more of them to feel a new kind of burn?

His shoes: Saucony—still made (more or less) in the USA.

His race: Turkey Trots and Fourth of July 5Ks.

Post-jog meal: Raisin Bran.

The actor-writer-singer is 37, he’s got a 2-year-old son, and he not long ago left the gig that was eating up all of his time. In other words, he’s perfectly primed to become That Dad Who Runs!

Look for him to be jogging the far reaches of Manhattan, up around Fort Tryon Park and Inwood Park, reciting under his breath—as all running parents have no choice but to do these days—the most addictive earworms from Hamilton and Moana.

The shoes: Unable to decide between Nike and Adidas, both of which have had indescribable influence on his creative life, Miranda goes full barefoot.

His race: The New York City Marathon or Van Cortlandt Park cross-country races

Postrace snack: Banana and a bagel—it’s tradition.