I have always run. When I was growing up I wanted to get to places faster, and at school I was sporty and relished the 800m. I used to run with my dad and our theme song was S Club 7’s 'Reach For The Stars'. In fact, it’s still a staple tune in our family! Back in 2006, I ran my first marathon (the London Marathon) and back then I was mainly running for fitness.
At the start of 2017, my life changed in a very big way. I had separated from my (now) ex-husband at the end of 2016, and it was a hugely upsetting stage in my life. I was under so much stress and pressure that I developed a twitch in my neck and a stutter. Looking back, I now realise it was my body’s way of telling me I’d hit breaking point. I do still have a stutter when I am talking about difficult topics, but embrace it more with a 'this is me' approach, rather than get embarrassed about it. I am also sure that the running has helped me to change that mindset.
A shift slowly took place as I was going through this difficult time, and I started running more. I discovered that running allowed me to feel free while giving me a focus. I felt there was purpose – it cleared my head and I was able to hit the reset button.
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When my two daughters were spending time with their dad, it freed up some time. I’ve never been a person that’s good at spending time on my own, but I found running was a space where I could really release all of my built-up emotions.
In June 2017, I took my training one step further and together with a work friend took on the 100K Cotswolds Way. I absolutely loved it and we chatted the whole way round the route – there was probably a point where my friend wished I’d stop nattering! It was then that I realised there is something very special about the ultra distance. This was the point when I realised that this is something I want to explore and do more of. It was new and fresh, and I was ready for a new chapter after everything that I’d been through.
But while I loved running, I wasn’t looking after my body properly. I wasn't training in a healthy way – I wasn't fuelling or hydrating properly. I’d skip meals and then do a workout followed by a run. I became obsessed with fitness and it wasn’t a healthy way of life. I was trying to run away from my problems, even if I didn’t realise it at the time.
My next ultra was the Isle of Wight Challenge. I went into that race with a rough plan and I was the second female finisher. I fundraised for my godson, who has a rare neurological condition called congenital central hypoventilation syndrome (CCHS) – he is always my motivation when I take on these challenges. After the Isle of Wight Challenge, I was intrigued to see what I could do next, so signed up to the 100-mile South Downs Way Challenge.
At that time, through a friend, I met this amazing coach called Andy. He took me on as a client, and as I was doing it for CCHS, he didn’t charge me. We met up every Saturday morning and would run with bands around our ankles, talking non-stop. Every session, when I thought we were finishing, he would turn me around and say: 'Back round you go!' Suddenly, I had a proper training plan.
He took the time to teach me about fuelling my body in a really nurturing way, and he completely changed my mindset and believed in me from the start. His guidance had a massive impact on my physical, mental and emotional wellbeing. He made me see the bigger picture in life – and for that, I’m forever grateful.
With my mental health on the up, I started to take on more and more challenges. Last year, I did a total of four ultra races. I crossed the finish line as the first female in the 75km Ultra X Spring Trail Series with a sprint finish at the end, and came second in the Centurion 100.
My partner, Max, got into running about a year ago, and it’s been a really special journey for us both. He’s so supportive and appreciates that I’ve been on quite a journey with its ups and downs. He really believes in me, which gets me through the tough times.
We often train together and are out with the birds, clocking up 20 miles together first thing in the morning – it’s great! One of my big highlights from last year was conquering the Istria 100 by UTMB with Max. I finished as seventh female, which I was thrilled about, and it was the most incredible experience taking on the challenge together. To coincide with the fresh new chapter in my life, I’ve started training with a new coach called Matt who understands me and who I am as a mum and a person, which has helped to push me further.
As a parent, you’re always striving to be a role model and running is such a big part of that – I’m always training with my two daughters in mind. Every challenge has its low points and when the going gets tough, I look at a picture of my girls and it pushes me on. I want to be a role model and teach them to keep going even when things are hard. I also want them to know what I’ve been through and where I am now in my life.
Running still helps me to manage my mental health on a day-to-day basis. When I have had a busy day teaching, or things start to build up in my head, going for a run, being outside, and having a hit of endorphins is a huge leveller for my headspace. Being outside in nature, whether it is cold and rainy or warm and sunny, is a great feeling that I love. As a social person, I find that running with people and chatting is a great way of catching up with my running friends, too.
The running community is awesome and I’ve met people from all walks of life. We are all on our own journey, whether it’s training for a 5K or an ultramarathon, and even if I might not have connected with them outside of running when we’re on the trail, we are the best of friends by the time we are finished. Running has instilled in me a sense of confidence and self-worth and for this I am forever grateful.
Mental Health Awareness Week runs from 13 to 19 May 2024. Visit mind.org.uk for more information.
